


Red Card

by Ashling42



Category: F4 Thailand (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Humor, I know nothing about these boys, Who does that?, but those professional bullying cards gave me a fit, professionally made bullying announcement cards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:07:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27908740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashling42/pseuds/Ashling42
Summary: How F4 started using their infamous red cards.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6





	Red Card

**Author's Note:**

> So, in all my years I've never watched any adaption of Hana Yori Dango. But two days ago I saw the trailer for F4 Thailand, and one thing stuck out to me- the red cards they used looked professionally made. So I thought, "how did they go about getting those?" I talked to some of my friends on Tumblr about how silly they were, and one of them showed me what the cards looked like in some of the other versions. I couldn't come up with any way these things could have come into existence that wasn't hilarious. Please forgive any mischaracterizations, as I don't know anything about any of these guys, but I couldn't get the thought of bullies making cards out of my head.

"You know what we need?" Thyme asked, poking at his lunch. "A calling card. Something to let people who've crossed us know they're in for it." 

"That sound's cool. What color should they be? Obviously they shouldn't be plain white, that would be boring." said MJ.

"How about hot pink?" suggested Ren, deliberately starting off with a flippant suggestion, trying to kill the conversation.

"No, that's not intimidating!" exclaimed MJ "It should be something people associate with danger, like neon orange!"

"Orange?! Why neon orange?" 

"You know, because road cones are that color, people think of danger..."

"ROAD CONES?! Are you for real?"

"How about black? Black is an ominous color." Thyme suggested.

"We won't be able to write anything on a black card, Thyme, no one will be able to read it. The obvious choice is red." Kavin interjected between sips of tea.

With that decision made, the bell rang. They'd have to get back to this project after school.

*****************************************************

They picked up some art supplies on the way home and all went to Thyme's house with several packages of paper and markers. They set up arts and crafts time on the dinner table and diligently got to work. After an hour or so had passed, Ren spoke up.

“How about this?” Ren held up his card. It simply said “From F4”

“That just looks like a gift tag!” MJ exclaimed. “Mine is way better!” He held up a card with the words “YOU’LL BE DEAD” arranged vertically with “F4” written on top of the word "BE" in gold sharpie.

“’You’ll Fbe4 dead?!’ That’s too hard to read! Look at mine, it’s clearly the best!” Thyme proudly presented his card. It was a red square with a skull and crossbones that said F4 at the bottom. “Isn’t it cool!”

“Are we pirates now? Do we have to wear eye patches when we give these out?” Kavin asked.

“Okay, well what to you have?” Thyme demanded.

“This.” Kavin held up a beautifully drawn joker playing card, holding another card that said F4.

“That’s really nice," Ren said, "but you’re not going to want to draw something that elaborate every time Thyme gets mad at someone-” Thyme shot Ren a glare. “it’s all you’d ever do.”

They all looked at each other, knowing he was right. “Screw this!” Thyme yelled, throwing the art supplies on the floor. “We have money, let’s make someone else do the work!” He charged out the door with the rest of them following. Thyme’s family chauffer didn’t bother asking why the boys needed to suddenly go to a card shop right this second, he had grown accustomed to following his employer's petulant child’s demands.

********************************

“Hello, Sirs! How may I help you today?”

“We need to have some cards made.” Thyme said.

“Certainly sir, what kind or cards can we make for you? Business cards, greeting cards, wedding invitations...?” the clerk asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at Thyme and Kavin standing next to each other. The two boys instantly felt awkward and stepped away from each other. 

“Larger than business cards, but flat, not folded like greeting cards.”

“Come with me, I’ll show you the books of designs you can look through. Here’s the form to fill out, write down any wording you want on the cards here, and choose what font you want.” 

The boys sat down at the table with the sample books. Then the bickering started again.

“These all look stupid!”

“Why are there so many wedding cards? How many options do you really need for that anyway?!”

“How about a border? Maybe something cool like barbed wire!”

“I don’t think they have anything like that, how about just a plain line? We can make the border and text match if we make it metallic foil embossed!”

“Look we just need to pick a font!" Thyme snapped. "What do you think? I like Algerian”

“Wingdings” Ren suggested, once again making a flippant suggestion. The rest of the group stopped and looked at him. “NO!” they said in unison.

“I like Blackadder ICT” Suggested MJ

“If we’re not using Wingdings, I like Baskerville Old Face.”

“I prefer Vivaldi” Kavin chimed in.

“Fine!" Thyme sighed. "If we can’t pick one, we’ll just use all four. That way it will have four letter Fs instead of saying F4. Now if we do that, do we want the lettering to be horizontal or vertical? Oh, I know, how about diagonal! Now we have to set a font size... Hey... YOU!" he shouted at the clerk. 

"Have you made your selection, Sir?"

"Why isn't there a font size between 48 and 60?!" Thyme demanded.

"I apologize, our printer doesn't do a size in between those." he said, bowing.

"Do you have any idea who I am?!?" Thyme shouted indignantly. "You will make this in a size 54 font!" The other customers turned to see what the commotion was about, only to see an oddly dressed teenager throwing a tantrum over font sizes.

"I'm afraid I don't, Sir. Unfortunately it isn't up to me, those are the standard sizes. There are no other options. If I may suggest, going with the larger size would help fill out the page better."

Kavin put his hand on Thyme's shoulder. "Yes, we'll take that. Here's the form for our order."

"100 cards in red with border trim and the letter 'F' if four different fonts? All with a red foil embossing? A fine choice, let me ring you up for this, we'll have that ready for you in two weeks. We can even ship it directly to you to..." the clerk blinked twice and smiled "to save you the trip."

"Yes, that sounds lovely." 

Several months later...

Gorya opened her locker to find something that wasn't there the last time she looked. It was a red card with four letter "Fs" each one in a different font, delicately embossed in a red metallic foil, with a matching border.

"What the heck does this mean?" she asked her friend.

"Oh, that's a red card from F4, they give that to people they intend to target for harassment." 

"The punks who were bullying you before? They gave me this?" Her friend nodded. Gorya stared at the card for a moment. "This is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen!" Gorya exclaimed, holding the card out in front of her, barely containing her laughter. 

"Who does this? Who has cards professionally made to announce they're going to bully someone? What kind of stationary nerds are they! What, is one of them some 80's movie villain named Biff?" She changed her tone and stuck her nose in the air to take on a haughty demeanor. "You are cordially invited to your own ass-beating behind the gym Friday afternoon at 3:15pm." She bent over with laughter for a moment, then recovered enough to say "Am I supposed to RSVP? Do I bring a plus one? Where's the box to check if I want chicken or steak?" 

Gorya completely lost it at that point, howling with laughter and banging her hand on the lockers. She was starting to draw attention from the other students in the hallway.

"We should get going." her friend said, trying to pull her back to an upright position.

"Yes, we should go, I have to frame this." Gorya said, putting the card in her bag and turning towards the door.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope someone else finds this half as funny as I did!


End file.
